


Noise

by NorthernSerpent



Series: Falice: From A to Z [14]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Caught, Coitus Interruptus, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Secret Relationship, hippie Alice, secret is out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 10:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16303247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthernSerpent/pseuds/NorthernSerpent
Summary: Archie hears a noise coming from the Jones trailer which forces FP and Alice to have a heart to heart.





	Noise

**Author's Note:**

> Set in a world where Archie was never arrested and Hippie Alice is a thing.

In hindsight, Archie should have known exactly what those noises were. 

_ Please… _

_ Hurry up and finish me already... _

The Jones’ trailer windows had been left open on that scorching day, giving Archie an earful of FP Jones begging -  _ pleading _ \-  on other side of the tin wall. 

Maybe there was too much violence in Archie’s life because instead of immediately identifying the sounds for what they were and bolting back to his jalopy, he pushed open the front door, and followed the sounds to the bedroom, bracing himself to see his best friend’s dad’s dismembered remains.

It had to be the Ghoulies. That was the only explanation. They hated the man’s guts and it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume they finally decided to act on it.

“Mr Jones? Are you-”

The words died in his throat as he realized this wasn’t some sort of sick Ghoulie torture scenario. 

What he saw was much more traumatizing.

Jughead’s shirtless father was sitting against the headboard with his head back and eyes shut. His breathing was ragged, making strange breathy groans as  _ someone _ bobbed up and down underneath the bed sheet between his legs.

“Shit!” FP shouted when he caught sight of Archie, throwing an extra blanket and pillow on top of his partner. “Shit, shit, shit …”

He was too flustered to try to bother identifying the other person in the bed. Judging by the brief glimpse of the bra hanging on the bedpost, it was probably a woman.

Archie kept his eyes firmly covered and shot out the door to retreat from this horrifying situation, barely registering that Mr Jones was calling after him.

“Archie! Red! Slow down, boy!” FP shouted as he wore nothing but a bed sheet wrapped around his waist. “Let’s talk about this!”

“Nope. Let’s not,” Archie raced down the steps of the trailer toward his bright red car. He refused to turn around. “I’ve seen enough.”

“Please don’t tell Jughead,” FP begged.

That caught his attention. Archie turned on his heel to face his friend’s father.  “Mr Jones, you’re  _ married _ . To Jughead’s mom. He still thinks you’re going to work things out. How is that going to happen if you’re getting your snake pet by rando?”

“She’s not a  _ rando _ !” FP protested. The word sounded strange coming from him.

“So it’s an actual relationship? I don’t know if that makes it better or worse!” Archie exclaimed exasperated. 

His ears perked at the unmistakable roar of a motorcycle rounding the bend. Panic was written all over FP’s face.

“Jughead will be here soon. Please, Arch, let me tell him on my own terms.

Archie considered this. “You have 24 hours. Not a second more.”

FP smiled with grateful relief before slinking back into the trailer, just seconds before his son pulled up. Jughead pulled off his helmet and eyed Archie who was leaning casually on his car.

“Hey Jughead, my man, what’s up?” Archie asked totally casually.

“Why are you acting weird?”

“I’m not!” the ginger protested a little too strongly. 

“Clearly,” Jughead raised his eyebrows. “What are you doing here?”

“Just came by to see if you wanted to hang.”

“Wanna come in and watch a movie?”

“No!” Archie cried suddenly, startling his friend. “Let’s go get Pop’s. My treat.”

Whatever qualms Jughead had died at the prospect of food.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s go!”

  
  
  


-

  
  


“Well, on the bright side, my phone isn’t blowing up which means that Archie thinks you’re hooking up with a run-of-the-mill homewrecker,” Alice tossed her phone onto the kitchen table between them. 

They were both fully clothed - FP in an old t-shirt and jeans, and Alice in a flowy flower print top. 

“Thank god for that bedsheet or we’d be having two conversations tonight,” she added as she fiddled with her turquoise pendant. 

FP groaned and buried his face in his hands for the millionth time that day. “I’ll never be able to look at Archie again.”

“What are you going tell Jughead?”

“I don’t know,” FP ran an exasperated hand through his hair. Alice was being eerily calm about this whole thing. He had experience dealing with hysterics, but this was something else entirely.  “This involves you too. What do you think I should tell him?”

Alice considered this carefully. “I’ve spent a lot of time maintaining lies in order to protect the ones I love and it has always come back to bite me. Edgar has taught me that being honest might be hard in the short term, but it is always worth it in the long run.”

FP grimaced.

Of course.  _ Edgar _ . He should have known.

Ever since Alice had been acquainted with The Farm and its strange leader, she had been trying to be more self-aware and embrace a holistic lifestyle. (Whatever the hell that meant.)

And like everything Alice did, she went in head first. She traded in her coffee for herbal teas, filled her closet with floral skirts, and even bought a mini essential-oil diffuser for her car. 

But it meant that she was at least trying to heal after everything that had happened, and FP couldn’t fault her for that.

It was still incredibly confusing. And only a bit alarming. 

“He’ll ask who I’m seeing. I’ll have to be honest with him,” sighed FP.

“You wouldn’t dare,”  her blue eyes flashed dangerously. “You know he’ll tell Betty. I won’t do that to her.”

“What happened to ‘honesty being better in the long run?’” FP mocked. 

“This is different,” Alice snapped and FP had to fight to keep from rolling his eyes. Of course it was different. It was always different with her. “Betty is going through so much right now. I will  _ not _ make things worse for her."

“Well I can’t keep lying to my son,” FP crossed his arms.  “Alice, it’s been two months. What are we even doing anymore?”

“We’re adults. We’re friends. We have fun.” 

There was no way in hell that’s what he was going to tell his son.

“Is that what your _ soul  _ is telling you? We’re just friends?” he snorted. “Alice, we could be  _ so much more _ .”

“As much as I love you, what would that even look like?” she stared at him defiantly, daring for him to fight her. “Date nights and domestic bliss? What’s next? Going away on a family vacation? Why can’t things stay exactly as they are now?”

FP blinked. Had he heard her right? He couldn’t have. It was impossible. 

“FP, stop staring at me like that,” Alice snapped bringing him out of his daze.

“You love me?” he asked dumbly. 

Alice flushed and averted her gaze. She looked like she had been caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar.

Alice loved him. Alice  _ loved  _ him.  _ Alice _ loved _ him. _

“So?” she stammered. “I didn’t think it was news.”

“This is a game-changer!” FP cried. “I love you. You love me.”

“And we’ll be a happy family?” Alice mocked in a sing-song voice. “Bullshit. The kids are going to freak. It’s going to change  _ everything. _ ”

FP reached across the table and covered her hand with his. “I hate to break it to you, Al, everything has already changed.”

She rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated breath. “Fine. We’ll tell the kids. ”

  
  
  


-

 

FP and Alice each told their respective kids.

-

 

It went something like this.

“Are you  _ drunk _ ?”

“No.”

“You’re drunk.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You really need to find better coping mechanisms.”

“I just needed some liquid courage for what I’m about to tell you.”

“Oh no. Who died?”

“Nobody died.”

“Then what’s going on? Why are you drinking?”

“Listen. I wasn’t going to tell you until after the divorce was final, but then your red headed pal had to barge in and ruin a perfectly good thing.”

“Slow down. What are you even talking about?”

“I’m...I’m in love. Please don’t look at me like that.”

“Sorry. It’s just… that is not what I was expecting.”

“Ditto. I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“Honestly? Because things are starting to get serious and I wanted you to hear it from me first.”

“I don’t know what to say. You’re still _married_.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It just happened.”

“I can’t believe this is happening. This is… a lot. I need to process.”

“Take your time. I’m here when you’re ready to talk about it.”

 

-

 

It could have been worse.


End file.
